All the Single Ladies (Part 1/3),

from ffffound

I woke up at 2:30 last night to a break up going on right outside my window. Incredibly, alcohol was involved. I had a Civil Procedure test this morning, but I didn't mind being woken up because these late-night break ups are one of my favorite parts of living here. The first night I slept at my place, Esther (who I think must be the most compassionate and wonderful person ever) and I woke up to a girl wailing for Sarah on the sidewalk in front of my house.

Brittney [silently to herself]: Lady, I don’t think you appreciate how little I enjoy being woken up in the middle of the night.
Girl looking for Sarah [with relish, incredible volume, and shameless ignorance that that others might be asleep at 2:00 in the morning]: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRAAAAAAAH!
Guy upstairs: (Sarah isn’t here and you shouldn’t be either) edited for the children
Girl looking for Sarah: Why don’t you come down here and say that to my face! (also edited)
Guy upstairs: goes down there and says it to her face (the most edited of all)
Brittney [silently to herself]: I have the best neighbors ever.

I just think you should know that if you choose to break up on the streets here, you might feel like nobody is there, but people can still hear you.

- a friendly neighborhood representative