You're Only Three Once

Jack turned three yesterday. omg.

There’s so much I want to write down and remember, but I’ll just tell you the thing I’ll miss the most about having a two-year-old: developing language skills. For a few months he called backhoes “cocos.” And if something was “bloken” he would ask me to “fickit the blinds” or “fickit the van.” He loves to sing, and I love the names he has for songs, like, “By The Dawnzer,” Which is “The Star Spangled Banner” (“By the dawn’s early light”). Last week at bedtime he looked up at Chris and said, “Oh! I have an idea! It’s called juice!”

Language skills are tricky, but it’s so cute to hear him figure it out. Plus, the better he gets at communication, the easier it is for us to be happier together. Being two was hard sometimes (for both of us), but every day he gets sweeter. And Zoe will be two in nine months, so I’ll get to do two again soon.

b perry

Popsicle Potluck

It is toasty in the Bay right now. Every year there are a couple weeks in June where we’re escaping to every cool place we can think of. What are your best beat-the-heat strategies?

Before we had kids we would go out to dinner or see a movie. We went to so many movies in the summer of 2013… Not a Bay Area example, but we paid like forty bucks in London to see The Freaking Lone Ranger. What a truly terrible movie, but it was so cold in there.

After Jack was born we developed a pretty comprehensive list of the places on the peninsula that have air conditioning. My favorite is the Cantor Center for Visual Arts on Stanford campus. On the most blistering Sabbath Days we started walking along the beach in Pacifica or driving up to foggy San Francisco.

This year our house has air conditioning. IT IS COOL IN OUR HOUSE EVEN THOUGH IT IS ONE HUNDRED DEGREES OUTSIDE. WE CAN STAY HOME. WE CAN COOK FOOD. WE CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT. WE HAVE AIR CONDITIONING. Do you want to come over? It’s very comfortable here.

This week we planned a little “potluck” at our place to share the coolness. When I read our Summer Bucket List to Chris, everything was in alphabetical order. I said, “Play tag, popsicles, potluck…” and Chris said, “A popsicle potluck? Yeah! When are we doing that?!” And what better time for a popsicle potluck than the first day of summer. I made some tiny pops for the teething among us and picked up a few fruity flavors at Whole Foods. I can think of no better way to honor and celebrate the first day of summer and our blessed air conditioner.

b perry

First Birthday

We tried to fill Zoe’s first birthday with all her favorite things. Lots of family walks, amazing naps, dance parties, and nine different cheeses. It wouldn’t have mattered what we planned, she would have been the happiest camper for any activity, because that’s who she is. It is who she has always been. 

Zoe was born at the beginning of an unusually dark time for our family, and since birth she has been the brightest ray of sunshine: laughing, smiling, happily entertaining herself, napping like a champ. If it’s true that eyes are the windows to the soul, then she has stained glass masterpieces into a cathedral of a soul.

She is our diamond in the rough. She is the baby we needed. She is the only baby for us.

b perry

No More Sunday Dinners

there are stickers on the table, and it's old sourdough, but come over for french toast

During pregnancy (with all the pukes and exhaustion) I don’t really see anyone because we don’t get out much, and we rarely host. So at the end of both of my pregnancies, one of my top priorities was to get back in touch with friends I hadn’t seen for the better part of a year. My default invitation is dinner, but with two adorable children in my life, dinner feels like a herculean task. Menus. Cooking. Cleaning. I didn’t want to do it. And I didn’t for over two months.

Then, inspired by the cats, I decided I didn’t need to make dinner to invite someone over. You don’t even need food. You can just go on a walk together. You can play cars in the living room. But food is also pretty great, so I started inviting our friends over Sunday afternoon snacks. We’ve had root beer floats, or chips and salsa. Or -- and I’m not suggesting this, I’m just saying it’s happened before -- you can text them at 9:30 at night to invite them over for Costco muffins and salami. Then, because they’re your friends, because they’re good people, because they don’t judge you for this kind of stuff, they immediately text you back with a, “Hell yeaaaaaaahhhh.”

Have you sat down and shucked a pomegranate with someone you love lately? I’ve done it three times in the last two weeks, and I highly recommend it. The pretense of dinner isn’t what makes time with your friends so wonderful; It is your wonderful friends.

b perry

p.s. Five Rules for Hosting a Crappy Dinner Party (and Seeing Your Friends More Often) I read this article when I was a few weeks into my Sunday Snacks routine, and it resonated with me because I also gave up on dignified dinner invitations, and I’m seeing my friends more often.

What if kittens are born in your backyard?

or: How I became a Cat Lady with six cats by accident in one night.

My friend Rachel and her husband took these pictures and they somehow 

managed to make my fluorescent-lit garage look amazing...

This summer, Chris and I looked into our backyard and saw a black cat and an orange cat sitting under our fig tree while five tiny kittens played in the flowers. It was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen, and we watched them most of the night. After about an hour, and then definitely by the next morning, we realized they lived in our backyard.

If it were up to me that would be the end of the story because I’m irresponsible and not a cat person. But Chris is very responsible. And even though he never had a single pet growing up, he cares a lot about showing compassion to animals.

He immediately started feeding mama kitty and Googling what to do next. The kittens were so small that we knew they were still nursing, and their mama was very skinny. We left her food and water two or three times a day, and gave them their space for a few weeks. After Chris talked to shelters and nonprofits and cat people, and we started working with -- I swear I am not making this up -- the homeless cat network.

They gave us food and litter and cages and a humane trap to capture the mama. In 48 very eventful hours, we captured her, got her spayed, and released her back into our yard. That same night, the volunteers brought the five kittens into our garage, administered the medicines they needed, and then it was our job to “socialize” them in preparation for being adopted.

We posted on a few social media outlets, and people started showing up. Like fifty people in the first week. That took my weekly visitor count up considerably (from roughly zero), and made me feel like it was me being “socialized.” Over time, the kittens started purring and wanted to be held and pet. I’ll never forget the first night they started purring while I pet them; what an extraordinarily rewarding experience.

The kittens have been an unexpected and delightful way to make new friends and get in touch with old friends. We had someone over for lunch most afternoons. We had a girls night where we sat together and passed kittens around. My book club held kittens for a couple hours of discussion. Dozens of friends texted to see if they could drop by for a quick visit. Our home was filled with people in way it never has been before, and it was really wonderful.

I think part of that is because the people who care about the welfare of small animals are generally decent people. As this whole kitten situation has wound down (all five are being fostered, having a tryout , or got adopted), I feel lucky not just to know these crazy cats, but also to have enjoyed the company of so many good people.

b perry

a few filter-free pictures of the cats below

You’re Only Two Once

My son turned two on Monday. Instead of having one big celebration on his actual birthday, we spread it out over the weekend:

• Friday was his very first movie night. Mistake. More on that later.
• Saturday he opened his birthday toys
• Sunday we had cake and lit and blew out the same candle a hundred times
• After naps on Monday we picked up Chris from work and went to the SF Zoo

The last year was a rough one for our family. Bringing Zoe into the world was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Even though it wasn’t great on (literal medical bill) paper, Jack and I had the sweetest routines and interactions. We went to to story time and music class and spent a thousand afternoons at the park and ate our dinners on blankets in the backyard.

Sometimes he was cranky, but he was mostly silly and kind and woke up from his naps singing, “Ohhhhh a pirate’s life is a wonderful life!” Because of him I can already see that miserable time through rose tinted glasses.

He is the most beautiful boy, inside and out. I’m so glad he’s ours.

b perry

Half Birthday at the Park

I know it’s not as cool as being a Leap Day baby, but Jack’s half birthday is February 29. Aaaaand we had to throw a party to celebrate. It was more of a glorified afternoon at the park, but I’ll take any event as an excuse to mail an invitation.

I put The Best Confetti Ever in glassine envelopes, wrote the party details on the back, used this year’s Valentine’s Day stamp, and had them hand-stamped at the post office. I think it’s my favorite thing I’ve ever mailed. A couple friends texted me pictures of their kids having a mini-party with the confetti, which never even crossed my mind as a possibility. I don’t think I’d ever knowingly open an envelope with confetti in it because I hate cleaning. Hate.

You can’t really have a “theme” for a park day, but for a bit of a visual we had funfetti cupcakes, and few of those confetti balloons that completely took over Pinterest that one time.

At 18 months, Jack didn’t care about any of those details. But I’ll tell you what he did notice: we spent three hours at his favorite park, and Chris took the day off work (“He’s a Mormon, you know how they are about Leap Day”). That was enough for him to feel happy and loved, and that was the whole point.

b perry

First Birthdays

For Jack's birthday we tried to pack in every single thing that he loves. He had two whole eggs for breakfast. We took him to his favorite slides. We held his hand as he walked in circles around the house for hours. We went on an evening walk. Most importantly, we let him eat at least three sticks from the trees in our yard.

I wrote this whole emotion-laden post about our first year together. It was nostalgic and cheesy and you’re welcome for transferring that to a journal. Here’s what’s left: celebrating this birthday feels rare and beautiful because for the last year, our life stories were the same silly, wonderful story.

And it’s a story I’ll love to tell until my dying day because, without caveat or condition, it’s been the best year of my life.

b perry

see below for the cake smash

Book Club Snacks

In my experience, book club is basically an excuse to throw a low-maintenance themed girls night. The women in my group are impressive and kind and always thoughtfully read the book whatever the selection, so I don’t feel a ton of pressure to choose the perfect book. No, for me the real secret to book club is coming up with clever and delicious snacks. I’m pretty sure that’s the secret to any club. So I made a list of a dozen of my favorite book/snack combinations below!

b perry

• The Blue Castle: A mix of berries, like you foraged everything from the great outdoors. And then cheese, obviously, always cheese. 
• David and Goliath: a fancy Mediterranean spread. 
• The Boys in the Boat: There's a German beer garden down the street that has amazing soft pretzels, but it sounds like you can also buy pretzel dough at the Costco cafe . 
• Quiet: She has an entire chapter about Harvard Business School, and so maybe I’d go with Boston cream pie because I love that stuff. 
• The Distant Land of my Father: Chinese takeout that you eat with chopsticks like they do on TV all the time, but people never do this in real life. 
• My Life in France: Pretty much any of the foods she talks about in her book except for the ground up animal organs. Do not serve that. 

Books and food pairings I actually used when it was my turn for a book selection

• Dandelion Wine: In this book dandelion wine is one of the rites of summer. So I choose Gravenstein apple cider since that is one of my rites of fall.
• Dad is Fat: Jim Gaffigan has this bit about kids snacks that are healthy in no way, but they’re “organic” so we somehow feel better. I went to Trader Joe’s and bought four kinds of organic kids crackers and cookies. 
• The Trouble With Poetry: Ideally, you’d serve coffee for this poetry reading, but since we don’t drink coffee I brought a bunch of other drinks you could get at a coffee shop 
• Upstairs at the White House: a small snacking spread including fruit gushers, since this book was written by the White House chief usher. 
• As You Wish OR The Princess Bride (which Chris and I read together and then had a date night in where we ate these snacks and watched The Princess Bride) Chips of insanity, mutton lettuce tomato sandwiches, bottle of wits (IBC root beer) chocolate cake balls shaped like a Miracle Max pill, and peanut (Princess) buttercups.

Chris Turns Thirty-Three and a Third

Chris was born on December 27, and his birthday rituals have been immutable for the last twenty-five years. Every year he's in Salt Lake with his family, they ski all day, then there is chocolate cake. I'm a sucker for long-standing traditions, so I love this about him, but it means I've never thrown a birthday party for my darling husband. This April, however, Chris turned thirty-three and a third. Obviously I had to plan something. 

Invitations: I wanted to use this picture of Chris on his first birthday, and there was a separate page with the party details (and limerick!). The backs of each piece had blue and white stripes to match the candle on his first birthday cake. I put everything together in a sleeve with the exact dimensions of a polaroid. Our guest list was basically "Chris' Previous Roommates" so I only made a few, and cutting out those little squares with a box cutter wasn't too bad.

Food: Originally, I wanted to have a narrow, six-foot long chocolate cake, but I would have ended up eating leftover cake every single meal for the rest of my life. That can't happen unless I'm on reality TV. Instead we baked all of Chris' favorite desserts: chocolate cake, brownie bites, blonde brownies, scotcheroos, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and very fudgey brownies. The empty plate you see there was for the cookies, which Chris' (truly wonderful) mother baked during the party because a) it made our house smell like grandmotherly love and b) fresh cookies are better than not fresh cookies. 

Chris and I both have a wee bit of social anxiety, so I never think of us as party people, but we actually love doing it. Chris has the best party ideas, and I love making invitations and obsessively planning. Sure, we might be unbearably awkward at the party, but we have a great time in all the preparations.  

b perry

A Casual Baby Shower

This month my friends Meredith and Julie threw us a baby shower. We decided to bypass the traditional baby shower for, oh, several hundred reasons. First, I’m not great at opening presents in front of other people; it’s awkward and stressful – like wearing swim fins while running away from a family of grizzly bears. I also wanted Chris to be there too, but who wants to be a lone man in the Garden of Estrogen? No one.

So Meredith and Julie were the MOST thoughtful and planned a casual afternoon in the park. It was a “whole family” kind of party, and we spent a few hours surrounded by friends, eating hamburgers and talking about babies. Sometimes I worry about living so far away from my family as a brand new mom, but that day there was one moment where I looked around the park and saw people who already love the Perry household. It was a comforting moment for me to know we wouldn’t be alone when the baby comes in a few weeks.

britt

p.s. Julie took all these pictures. And Google+ auto awesomed this gif for me, and look! You can see how happy I am! I didn't break out into stress hives at all!

4th of July Playlist

picture from John Thatcher 

We invited some friends over to play games for the 4th of July (one of my favorite 4th of July traditions) and I joked that I was going to make a special mix tape. Then I really did make one. I always overlook the playlist, but I’m so impressed when other people put effort into this detail for their dinner parties or whatever else.

This is a mix that’s mostly folksy, mostly late 1960s/early1970s – and, to me, most of these songs are perfect for the great American road trip or singing around the campfire in a national park.

britt

Let Summer Begin Party

I haven’t gotten out much this year. Being sick all the time hasn’t been great; it’s been kind of depressing. So a few weeks ago Chris and I decided to plan a get-together with a small group of friends that we’ve seen too infrequently since I got pregnant.

One of the best parts about small parties is you can go a little bit crazy with the invitations. I loved the look of this invitation, but if I had to make even a dozen of these beauties, I would have probably died. Fortunately I only had to make a few, and in the end I was happy with the final look instead of resenting the very sight of those super intricate, darling, pom poms.

In his single days, Chris loved to throw a Let Summer Begin party. He bought a bunch of burgers and a bunch of soda and invited his friends over. Easy peasy. This time we picked out some pre-marinated tri-tip and kabobs, some sirloin, some rib eye, and we bought a case of Juice Squeeze. It was the perfect party for a 22-year-old bachelor (who also happens to be a master griller) because it’s a simple party: just excellent food and dear friends. It was also the perfect party for our weekend since I am of no help whatsoever.

britt

Four Birthdays Party

I love birthday parties, but it's been a while since I had one for myself. In law school, my birthday fell right at the beginning of finals. There was no time for cake and ice cream or anything except feeling guilty about not studying more.

Usually by the time my birthday rolled around my brain was whimpering something like, “You have to stop thinking about Iqbal and Twombly now because I’m full. You’re replacing your ability to tie your shoes and ride a bike with lists of favored and disfavored defenses. I have a splitting headache, but you have actually lost the intellectual capacity to break past a child-proofed bottle of Tylenol. Stop.” And I'd stand in the kitchen for several minutes, head throbbing, unable to wrap my mind around the mechanics of a lid designed to protect two-year-olds from themselves. And at that point – even if it’s your birthday – all you can do is move your laundry to the drier, and then IRAC pleading standards for three more hours. And in those three hours, I swear, you lose a little bit of your humanity. No decent human being would keep working, but you have to. So you set aside your “limits,” establish new boundaries, and become a Master Robot of Civil Procedure.

But not this year.

This year, Chris decided we would have a Four Birthdays Party: a party to celebrate turning 27, and 26, 25, and 24... which went uncelebrated due to law school finals. Every hour, on the hour, we sang happy birthday, blew out candles, and cut a new cake.

A funfetti cake, for the birthday I celebrated in the Castro. A chocolate fudge cake, which is a tastier version of our wedding cake. A citrus cake, for the year I graduated from a California law school and passed the California bar. And a carrot cake, for this year, when I've finally been able to celebrate the holidays like a normal person. We also had a brown butter pumpkin cake, my friend Julie brought a hilarious cake with my picture on it, and my friend Meredith brought a delicious chocolate orange cake.

It was a lot of cake, a lot of sparkling cider, and a lot better than the last three years.

britt

A Root Beer Float Bar (for pirates)

This month we had a root beer float bar housewarming party. I didn’t take any pictures during the party. I didn’t even take a picture of the table’s final setup. But nbd, I’m writing about it anyway.

Decoration: Since it’s October, and everyone is obsessed with black and white Halloween parties right now, we went with a pirate theme. We spent a few dollars on vintage parrot prints, but other than that, Chris happens to be the proud owner of a crapton of pirate booty: a giant pirate flag, pirate serving trays, pirate hats, pirate keys, a pirate nutcracker, an eye patch, and a pirate apron that says, “Captain Cook: surrender your buns.” Obviously. The guy loves pirate stuff. And I love him.

Food:

• For the root beer, we had a dozen different kinds of bottled root beers and a little keg of our favorite root beer (Virgil’s). I found the majority of brands at BevMo, but I also picked up a handful of brands at Whole Foods and Cost Plus World Market. 
• Our vanilla ice cream was Three Twins Ice Cream and Double Rainbow; both are Bay Area treasures. 
• Also: in the living room we had a stash of goldfish crackers for a salty (and piratey) contrast. 

Bonus: Here’s the public service announcement. Party rental stores are awesome. I definitely thought party rentals were limited to weddings, or corporate events, or the fabulously wealthy. But we rented fifty beer steins for a piddly twenty bucks, and they made putting your float together a little more special.

britt

House Warming at Our First Apartment

At the beginning of this month we moved out of our studio apartment. We had been there for about a year and a half, and it was our very first apartment together. I expected leaving to be this protracted, emotion-laden, E.T./Titanic-esque goodbye, but it wasn’t. We just packed up and moved out. Anyway, moving out reminded me that I never posted about the house warming party we had when we first moved into that teeny apartment. Oops.

We had an all-you-can-eat cereal buffet. Easily my favorite element of the party was the invitation. I originally had the idea for this party in 2008, and I had all my roommates give me their empty cereal boxes for months. I hoarded those empty cereal boxes for years, and eventually threw the party in 2012 (and none of those wonderful roommates lived within 800 miles of me, so none of them could come… oops).

I cut the cereal boxes into postcards and used a green Sharpie to write the invitation on the back. We decorated our place with bunches of yellow tulips and projected Saturday morning cartoons onto the wall. I bought fruit and juice, and thirty kabillion boxes of cereal – way more than we actually needed. 

Chris ate leftover Apple Jacks forever after that. Oops.

 britt